I am too calm, too relaxed. I've been on medication consistently for about three years now and I am so bored. There is no mania, no fun, too even keel and I am ready to bust. I need to go out, drink, dance, sing, and have fun, but if I do at this time, I will get into trouble.
My life is so "in control" right now that I am bored stiff! I want excitement, enjoyment, and want to live on the edge. I feel the fire and the heat rising to the top and I am ready to explode. This *normal* life is not fun and I need to do something fast.
I always believed that stability, quietness, and calmness was for me and maybe it is, but having bipolar I am not these things or these things do not help me at all. Instead, it makes me absolutely crazy.
Oh, God! I could jump on a bike right now, drink martini's, dance in a bar for the entire bar to watch, and I could become the most fun person you've ever encountered.
Do I continue my meds or do I let it all go for a life on the edge?