Saturday, May 31, 2008

You're My Obsession

Many people have addictive personalities. They may smoke, eat, have sex, and drink. When someone quits one addiction they end up with another. True "Addictive Personality."

I don't have an addictive personality. I quit smoking 21 years ago and never looked back. I didn't turn to food or alcohol instead. I stopped and moved on. Being addictive to things is scary and sometimes the thought of being out of control is scary.

I read this blog thoroughly and noticed that the main topic here is sex and hypersexuality. Why is that? Is it from Bipolar? Or are we just one Horny bunch.

I have an addiction: men. Every time I look at a man, I picture him naked. I fantasize how I am seducing him and I can literally see the act of hot, passionate sex. To be honest, I have to be attracted to them and they are all about 25 years of age and older. But there has to be a physical attraction.

I never act on this. I want to, I feel it, I taste it, I smell it, but I don't. If I was single - forget it. I wouldn't have control, but being married truly keeps me honest. Thank goodness. But it doesn't stop my mind from being dishonest.

I am addicted to men. I am highly attracted to men, and I have to honestly say that if a man came near me and flirted, I do flirt back. Is this truly bipolar? Is this truly hypersexuality? Or is it just a woman who is addicted and hot for men?

I mean, I don't act on it and the word "Hypersexual" means what it is..someone who is sexual and acts on it, but I don't. But boy, at times I do.

This is my thought. I am in a nice bar, dressed up, hair done, make up, sexy black dress, heels, and some hot guy walks by and catches my attention. We talk, we whisper, and next thing you know we are kissing passionately to the point where we end up either in his car or a hotel room. Even the beach would be nice.

This is crazy, but I think that this is normal, too. Men flirt, Men fantasize - even married men. Come on, a man is sitting there and a hot, good looking woman is around him and he doesn't notice or for one split second doesn't think what it would be like to seduce her or have sex. Yeah right!

I read the post before me and I could so relate to that person. I know what they are feeling.

It is scary and I wonder if one day I just might act on it.



Butterfly said...

OMG! You described me.

Being married helps me A LOT. Before I got married I had the guilt associated with premarital sex, and I'd feel like crap each time. It ultimately caused problems in my relationships because I wouldn't want to do it any more.

What has also helped me A LOT is to stay away from my triggers - super sexy movies, sex & the city reruns, soap operas. Anything with super casual sex sends my mind racing. I also have distanced myself from any and all ex's and try to stay away from those social sites.

My mind is racy enough and imagination is active enough that I really do not need the extra imagery.

Anonymous said...

Interesting post. I can't really identify however. I am bipolar...and during severe mania I have had times of hypersexuality. Other than that...I dont do any fantasizing or flirting. During one particularly harsh manic episode several years ago...I had an affair. I was convinced that he was THE person I had been waiting for my whole life. I told my husband...hurt him terribly, and then not too far down the road...I crashed. Hubby was there to pick up the pieces...forgave me immediately, and now, if I feel like perhaps I am headed into a manic spiral....I go see my pdoc.